I Remember

I remember watching WWE with my brother on Saturday mornings.  I remember always cheering for Goldberg.  I remember going to the reservoir in Cedar Hills and being the only one in the family too scared to jump off into the water.  I remember eating pancakes early one Saturday morning when it was raining outside.  We were listening to "Banana Pancakes" by Jack Johnson.

 I remember going to the Dairy Queen in Beaver with my dad every time we drove to St. George.  I remember playing Kings Quest with my brothers.  I remember New Years Eve drinking contests.  I remember throwing up after said contests.  I remember "Man of The Day" challenges.  I remember never winning one.  I remember laying in the stream while water ran over us.  I remember playing "Armless-Legless Man"  at Home-Evening.  I remember never doing anything religious at Home-Evening.

I remember when I would sing "Inspector Gadgets" theme-song with my brother.  I remember playing Mario Kart on the N64 with my brothers, and we all had to come in the top 4 spots, or we did that race again.  I remember fielding ground-balls in my front yard.  I remember when Matthew broke the fence while we were playing Capture-The-Flag.   

I remember my mom cooking for 30 people, and having no leftovers after dinner.  I remember playing NBA Live 2001 on the Xbox with my brothers.  We were the Celtics.  I remember going to get Kong-Cones at Maceys right before they closed so that we could get more Ice cream.  I remember when everyone moved out except me and Caitlin.  I remember when Caitlin became my best friend.  I remember playing "Midnight Tennis" with her at Timberline.   I remember when she went to college and I became the only child in the house.

I remember not being Lonely.

Longing

I am going through a mid-life crisis.  I am not yet 18, and I am already to the point where I hate the world and everything in it.  Why?  I can't for the life of me answer that.  I have no idea why I feel this way, and no idea how to stop it. 

I look at myself as I am now and compare it to who I thought I was going to be when I was younger, and I lose hope of ever being happy again. 

I haven't fully cried in over 5 years.  I have had the teary-eyed moments, and the "sob just a little bit after a lose" stuff, but I haven't actually cried in over 5 years.  I don't know if I can anymore. 

I miss crying.  It was a sign of being a kid.  Of being innocent.  When you are a kid and something makes you mad, you would cry.  I can't do that.  Now I just get angry.  When a pet died, you cried because you were sad.  Now I just get angry.  When you did something you shouldn't have, you cried.  Now I just get angry. 

I was never angry when I was young.

  Something changed.

Q and Hopefully A

I have a question for you Nelson, and it's not taking a shot at your class or anything, it's just a legitimate question I have.  Why do we have to do blogs?  Obviously there is the need for points in the class, so I will understand if that's the reason why, but why make the blogs worth points?  Why not do the class exactly like you joked one time with the grade based solely off of participation and if you were a tourist or not. 

I don't know, I just don't really like the idea of having to try to be creative.  I do most of the blogs that actually spark something in my mind, so I honestly feel like I'm not that much of a tourist, but I have trouble making myself do the 2nd blog, or a blog that doesn't hold sway with me. 

Once again, I'm not trying to shoot down your class, I actually really like it, I just don't do super well with forced creativity, and it's kinda hurting my grade.  No worries though.  Thanks for teaching this class and being a pretty chill guy.

"Hope" is the thing with feathers

"Hope" is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—

And sweetest—in the Gale—is heard—
And sore must be the storm—
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm—

I've heard it in the chillest land—
And on the strangest Sea—
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb—of Me. 


 -Emily Dickinson


This poem has always resonated with me.  In my tough times, hope is ALWAYS there.  I wish I could properly express what I truly feel like Emily Dickinson could. 

Lost

I miss you

Avengers

This may be considered blasphemy to some, but I thought The Avengers was the most over-rated movie I have ever seen *gasp*.  But seriously, it had no freaking plot!  All it was was over the top action and explosions.  I just do not understand everyone's obsession with it. 

I will concede that is had some pretty funny moments, but for the most part, it was just action.  Now I understand that a lot of people really like action, and I have no problem with it, but I much prefer a good story to an intense fight scene.  For example, the movie A Beautiful Mind freaking thugs Avengers up because it is a great story.  Even though it may be the most uneventful movie ever, it still absolutely owned Avengers. 

Like I said, a lot of people really liked Avengers, and more power to them, but it was absolutely not my cup of tea...

Direct Orders

I am giving you direct orders to look at your opposing political party with an open mind.  Whether you are a republican or democrat, just look with an open mind.  It makes me absolutely ill to know that some people vote nothing but republican or democrat just because that is the party they associate with.  I mean really.  Half of the state is probably going to vote against Jim Matheson just because he is a "Democrat" regardless of the fact that he is dang near the best thing that has ever happened to Utah.

 Matheson gets things done.  He doesn't vote for nothing but democrat things, and he doesn't vote against everything republican.  He votes for what is best for the state and the country.  Whereas Utahans vote for freaking Tea-Party members who wouldn't sign a bill that would create world peace if a democrat brought it up.  They have their heads so far up their ass that they don't care if it will help the country, they only care if it is a "democratic" bill. 

And I'm not just picking on the republicans.  To all you democrats out there, wake the heck up!  Yeah it means well, but Obama-Care is a freaking joke.  They signed the bill in just so they could see what it contained.  No joke, Nancy Pelosi said that.  Look it up, I dare you.

Enough with just voting for your party only.  Actually take a look at who is the best option for the country, and vote for them.  We will never move forward as a country if we are all so locked in that there can be only one way to do things, so I am giving you a direct order to wake up, and fix some crap so that this country can become great again.

We are Dancer

I don't like humans.  My dislike towards humans has been an ever growing theme in my life, but recently it has hit its peak.  Maybe it's just because of where I live that I don't like people, but I don't know.
I don't like how little we care about helping one another.  I hate how selfish we are.  I read some of Fredrick Turners blog and he says everything we do is out of selfishness, even the charitable stuff.  I wanted to disagree, but as I thought about it, I found that he is right.

Not a single one of us is really out to help others.  I mean think about it, say you donate 1 million dollars to a charity.  That is a ton of money and a very selfless thing to do, but why are you really doing it?  Some are doing it so that they will look better in others eyes.

I am going to go ahead and say in this scenario, you are not doing it so that people will look at you better.  There are then only a couple other options of why you would donate.  First option is because you hate seeing how much poverty there is.  This sounds like a great thing until you realize it't not because you don't like poverty, but because you feel guilty for having nice conditions while they don't.  So, something that initially started as good has become you wanting to avoid guilt, thus giving the million dollars.

Second option, you are a religious person and want to just be as kind as possible to others, which is very commendable, but still selfish.  If you are religious then you probably believe in an after-life or some kind of heaven which is based off of actions you made in this life, thus meaning your charity was really just for you to make it into heaven.

I don't know.  I 'm probaly wrong.  This isn't what I was planning on writing.  I just kinda went with my fingers.  I was all set to write about politics and crap like that, but I don't even care anymore.  Screw humans and life and everything.

Scary Movie Help

Alright, I need some help.  I need some ideas for scary movies to watch during the Halloween season. 
I humbly think of myself as a scary movie connoisseur, but I want to see some new things that may have slipped past my radar.  If anyone has any good movies, please leave a comment and let me know.


*PS -- I don't really like blood and gore.  I wasn't much into the SAW movies just because it was soooo bloody. That being said, if you have a really good movie, still let me know about it.

Shane Co.

Since we are writing about boring things, lets talk about the most boring commercials out there: Shane Co. Company.  These commercials are without a doubt the least exciting things around today.  They have all the excitement of saying words, mixed with the intrigue of an old man.  Riveting...
That being said, I think they are about the most effective commercials around.  You know why?  Because everyone remembers them!  Everyone and their dog can quote "Now you have a friend in the diamond business.  Open weekdays until eight, Saturdays until five, closed Sundays." 
They are boring, but they are obviously doing their job if everyone can remember not only the companies name, but the freaking store hours too!

Congratulations Tom Shane.  You have the best commercials around.

It Goes On

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. -- Robert Frost

 

where have all the flowers gone?

Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone?
Girls have picked them every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the young girls gone?
Taken husbands every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the young men gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the young men gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the young men gone?
Gone for soldiers every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Gone to graveyards every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Covered with flowers every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?

"Poaster Toaster" Roaster

I recently read some of "The Poaster Toaster", and to put it nicely, I'm no fan.  I feel like he is incredibly pig-headed and short-sighted, not to mention spoiled out of his damn mind.  He talks some serious shit* on Islam, and on welfare, and I just think that he needs to reevaluate his opinions, because he is the kind of person who is ruining the human race.
First off, I am no fan of Islam, but really?  That is their religion you are talking about!  I don't know what belief system you have, but I'm pretty sure you would be offended if some jack-ass teenage boy started talking about how stupid it is. 
And also, you talk crap on them going to Mecca.  Now as I have said, I don't know if you are religious or not, but for the sake of the fact that we are in Utah County, I am going to assume you are LDS.  As a Latter-Day Saint, we go to the Temple, and often.  This is the exact same thing.  They go to Mecca.  That is their holy place.  We always talk about how amazing it is when someone treks across their country just to get to the Temple one time in their life, so why is it any different when a Muslim does it?  I know I'm sounding like a jerk by calling this guy dumb so many times, but he is one of the most ignorant people I have ever heard. 
Now about the hair.  They don't show their hair for the same reasons we wear garments.  BECAUSE IT'S WHAT WE BELIEVE.  I bet you don't like the fact that mormons get crap for wearing magic underwear, but it is what we believe, so what gives you the right to mock another religion for doing what they think is right?  Who made you the judge over religion and what is ridiculous? 
I don't know, maybe he is Jesus here for the second coming and has the right to do this, but I highly doubt it.


*I apologize for the obscenity, but "poop" and "crap" didn't feel like they had enough power in that context

Fears

Alright, I haven't done much of a job of keeping this blog, but I figured that since I have an 18% in the class right now, it's probably time to start.  Sound logic right? 
Well anyway, I'm really struggling to find what to say, because I want this blog to be "good" but I'm not the kind of writer that makes things depressing, aka, "good".  I fully appreciate how great of a writer Esther Greenwood is, but I can't right like her.  I don't write depressing stuff, although my writing may be depressing with how underdeveloped it is.  Hahahaha, get it?  No?  Alright...
About fears though.  I'm afraid of not being good enough.  I don't care what most people in the school think of me, but of what my family thinks of me.  I know they would never admit it, but I think I might have been a disappointment to them, and that scares me.  I'm scared that they love me too much to let me know.  I'm scared that because they don't want to be hurtful, they just let me continue on in my mediocrity.  I'm scared that I'm a younger brother in more than just age, but in all aspects.
I'm scared that I will never be a man in their eyes.  I'm scared that eventually, I will become a man in their eyes and start having to take responsibility.  I'm scared that I'm making my family seem like bad people.  They aren't.  They have treated me wonderfully, and I'm scared that when I have a family of my own, I won't be as amazing they are.
Now on non-family related fears, I'm scared of spiders, they are the bane of my existence.  I'm scared of heights, like, anything over about 8 feet...  I'm scared of being the last one in the house to fall asleep.
I'm scared of dieing alone, but I'm scared of commitment.  I'm scared of going on a mission, but I'm scared of being judged if I don't.  I'm scared that I'm not as smart as I think I am, but I'm scared that I'm even smarter than I think because then there are no excuses for why I get bad grades.
I'm scared of trying my best.  I'm scared that my best isn't good enough.
I'm scared of going to bed late and not getting enough sleep, but I'm scared of going to bed early, and missing something.
A lot of people are saying they are scared of reaching their potential, and I am too, but I'm scared of reaching my potential and finding out that I'm just some average Joe Schmoe.
 I'm scared of a lot of things, but one thing I'm not scared of is snakes.  Yeah, you heard me, I don't even have the beginnings of a fear of snakes.

COME AT ME SNAKES

Intro

Well, as this is my first blog, I thought I should explain some things about this blog, and what you can expect from it.

First off, I chose my name in honor of the lead singer of the band Mumford & Sons.  Marcus Mumford has been an inspiration to me since I first heard his music during 9th grade.  I have always appreciated the lyrics he creates, not just the music, but the actual words and what he means in them.
Secondly, I have a very opinionated view on some pretty confrontational subjects.  I will try my best to not offend anyone with what I say, but I want my blog to be a place where people can hear a different opinion.
*Note  -  My views aren't radical or anything, they are just different than most have in this area.