Well anyway, I'm really struggling to find what to say, because I want this blog to be "good" but I'm not the kind of writer that makes things depressing, aka, "good". I fully appreciate how great of a writer Esther Greenwood is, but I can't right like her. I don't write depressing stuff, although my writing may be depressing with how underdeveloped it is. Hahahaha, get it? No? Alright...
About fears though. I'm afraid of not being good enough. I don't care what most people in the school think of me, but of what my family thinks of me. I know they would never admit it, but I think I might have been a disappointment to them, and that scares me. I'm scared that they love me too much to let me know. I'm scared that because they don't want to be hurtful, they just let me continue on in my mediocrity. I'm scared that I'm a younger brother in more than just age, but in all aspects.
I'm scared that I will never be a man in their eyes. I'm scared that eventually, I will become a man in their eyes and start having to take responsibility. I'm scared that I'm making my family seem like bad people. They aren't. They have treated me wonderfully, and I'm scared that when I have a family of my own, I won't be as amazing they are.
Now on non-family related fears, I'm scared of spiders, they are the bane of my existence. I'm scared of heights, like, anything over about 8 feet... I'm scared of being the last one in the house to fall asleep.
I'm scared of dieing alone, but I'm scared of commitment. I'm scared of going on a mission, but I'm scared of being judged if I don't. I'm scared that I'm not as smart as I think I am, but I'm scared that I'm even smarter than I think because then there are no excuses for why I get bad grades.
I'm scared of trying my best. I'm scared that my best isn't good enough.
I'm scared of going to bed late and not getting enough sleep, but I'm scared of going to bed early, and missing something.
A lot of people are saying they are scared of reaching their potential, and I am too, but I'm scared of reaching my potential and finding out that I'm just some average Joe Schmoe.
I'm scared of a lot of things, but one thing I'm not scared of is snakes. Yeah, you heard me, I don't even have the beginnings of a fear of snakes.
COME AT ME SNAKES
Very good. From the heart. Some real stuff in here.
ReplyDeleteYou don't write depressing stuff? I think the line about being a younger brother in more than just age is pretty sad. Maybe I'm wrong. But I really liked that line. I also liked the contrasted lines in the last paragraph.
I'm scared that I will never be a man in their eyes. I'm scared that eventually, I will become a man in their eyes...
ReplyDeletestolen even though i'm a girl so...